Dear Abby

Abigail Van Buren was the pen name of Pauline Phillips who founded an advice column in 1956. She provided answers to people’s problems until the year 2000 in newspapers throughout the country.  The Dear Abby column was known for brief, yet sincere and kind advice.  She cared about the problems of people. People wrote to her because of this reputation and they wanted a “third party” to make decisions for them in their private and social lives.  Her responses were reasoned, yet terse.  Her columns became a “must read” for a multitude of readers.  Abigail Van Buren/Pauline Phillips passed away in 2013 due to complications from Alzheimer’s Disease.  She had many of her words quoted.  One quote that made me think is “There are two kinds of people in the world – those who walk into a room and say, ‘Here I am’ and those who say, ‘There you are.” That speaks volumes of how much people think of themselves and others.  Reminds me of this – “Have I not wept for those in trouble?” (Job 30:25)  She demonstrated that the mindset of valuing others more than yourself is an essential tenet. 

This is something that I was told 37 years ago – get used to being third. The kids come first.  The school/team comes second.  The teachers come third.  I consider myself to be number 88.  Why is this?  None of what we do is solely about us.  Sure, there is a paycheck and renumeration and a benefits package.  Those are the compensation for what we do, but really isn’t the result.  It is about making a difference in the lives of others.  AND there are lots of “others” around you each day!  Some of the “others” you will not like.  Some of the others have bad breath and dress pretty sloppy.  Some of the others are gangly and are growing into theirselves.  Some are socially inept.  Some are snotty. Some are gregarious. Some are awesome. Some “deserve” your time.  Some you will want to take home.  Some you will want to stay home. “They” are part of “us”.  Everyone outside of you is an “other”.  Is it “Here I am “ or “There you are”?  What would Dear Abby say?