At 17...or 11,12,13, or 14

Janis Ian released a melancholy song in 1975 entitled, “At Seventeen”.  The song was a huge hit on AM radio.  It is a song on what teenage society thinks beautiful people should look like.  It speaks about the cruel comments that teens can make about the physical appearance of others.  She puts forth a message that popularity is pretty dang shallow and is dependent upon one’s physical abilities and stunning good looks.  It is told from the point of view of an adult looking back on her middle and high school years.  They were tough times for her as they are for multitudes of teenagers.  I had zit-laden skin so bad that I once fell asleep in the public library and when I woke up a blind man was reading my face. Ian writes about the popular kids getting all of the attention from others; maybe even her teachers.  Unless you’re a baby boomer like me, you have probably never heard of this song.  Here are some of the lyrics.  Read them through and put yourself in her shoes before reading my final paragraph.

“I learned the truth at seventeen that love was meant for beauty queens.

And high school girls with clear skinned smiles who married young and then retired.

The valentines I never knew. The Friday night charades of youth were spent on one more beautiful.

At seventeen I learned the truth.

And those of us with ravaged faces; lacking in the social graces desperately remained at home inventing lovers on the phone

who called to say – come dance with me and murmured vague obscenities.

It isn’t all it seems at seventeen.

A brown-eyed girl in hand-me- downs whose name I never could pronounce

said – pity the ones who get what they deserve…

To those of us who knew the pain of valentines that never came

and whose names were never called when choosing sides for basketball.

It was long ago and far away; the world was younger than today

when dreams were all they gave for free to ugly duckling girls like me.

I learned the truth at seventeen…”

Sad, isn’t it?  Did it strike a chord personally at some level?  Did it arouse a little empathy in you?  These lyrics were written 41 years ago when kids were not all the same.  You know, when kids had differences.  When kids were ridiculed for being ugly or for having shabby clothes, bad hair, crooked teeth, or speech impediments.  When kids bullied others.  When kids were depressed because they didn’t measure up to the standards of beauty and the top athletes.  Not so today, right?  You know as well as I do that all of these things happen daily.  How do we respond as people who can help?  A redeeming quality of great educators is that they have an acute sense of empathy.  Put yourself in the shoes of those kids who aren’t the prettiest, the most athletic, nor the most popular. Be that anchor for them.  Be that difference maker who calls on these kids when questioning your class.  Give them a sense of honor in your class by exposing their talents.  Value them. Show them that they are valued by you.  Tell them that you are proud of them.  Pour into their self-worth.  Show them that they have redeeming qualities.  These are awkward years for many kids as they grow into themselves.  We need to be the constant reminder that they are worth more than what is seen on the outside.