Movies and Bladders

What is the longest movie that you have ever sat through without taking a break of any kind?  No trip to the concession stand, no potty breaks, no skipping out and rounding up.  The Godfather Part II ran for 3 hours and 20 minutes.  Ironically, the same length of time that Taylor Swift has stayed in a relationship.  The Lord of the Rings:  The Return of the King lasted 3 hours and 21 minutes.  Ben Hur was 3 hours and 32 minutes including a 9 minute chariot race.  The Ten Commandments ran for 3 hours and 40 minutes – almost as long as Moses was actually in the desert.  Gone with the Wind lasted for 3 hours and 41 minutes.  I was gone before the breeze started.  Hamlet ran for 3 hours and 42 minutes.  Cleopatra was 3 hours and 48 minutes -  four academy awards and a bottle of 5 Minute Energy Drink.  Alfred Hitchcock was a genius in the film industry.  He directed such memorable films as Psycho, The Birds, The Rear Window, North by Northwest, Vertigo and many others.  Hitchcock’s movies typically ran under two hours because of his rule of thumb about films:  “The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”

What the heck does a full bladder have to do with teaching?  Not much…or does it.  The point that I wish to make is that the attention span of a “tweener” is sometimes slightly longer than a gnat.  I once read that all speeches should be 18 minutes or less because the human mind begins to wander after that duration no matter who is speaking.  You will never capture all of the attention necessary from your students if they come in, park their buns, and remain sitting there for 40 minutes listening to you pontificate (Remember Charlie Brown’s teacher).  It is important to have several activities planned each day with quick and smooth transitions.  Have something for them every day as soon as they walk in the door.  Mix it up.  Get them out of their seats.  Get out of your own seat.  Get them out of the classroom.  When you are competing against fast action video games, you can’t be the Science teacher from Ferris Bueller.  Short bursts of high-yield teaching will pay big dividends.  The length of a classroom activity should be directly related to the endurance of the attention of a 11-13 year old…perhaps their bladder endurance as well.