Born Into the Right Family

During the first semester, I was part of a case conference committee on behalf of one of our most profoundly handicapped students.  Throughout the conference, many areas of improvement were noted.  The mother of this student said something that day that I will never forget when asked about where the credit for her daughter’s success stemmed from.  In addition to the excellent teaching that her daughter received at our school, she simply said, “She was born into the right family.”  This wasn’t an arrogant statement.  She was not patting herself on the back.  The point she was trying to make was this – many kids come to us from a less than functional family.  This young lady was not part of a dysfunctional family. We all choose our friends; we do not get to choose our families. Some of our kids go home to an empty house and have to fend for themselves for several hours.  This young lady gets off to bus to the welcoming arms of a Mom who loves her unconditionally.  Some of our kids struggle with getting anyone to help them with their assignments that are taken home.  This young lady has help every waking moment.  Some of our kids have been abused physically and emotionally.  This young lady is cared for and her needs are being met.  We have hundreds of kids who were “born into the right family.”  We have others who were not so lucky, blessed, or fortunate. No welcome home hugs, no pats on the back, no one to help with their homework or make their dinner, no unconditional love.  That is the reality for several of our kids. 

Let’s, for a moment, make our school a “family” that kids can be “born into.”  Work with me on this.  They, for the most part, didn’t get to choose which school to go to.  Kids are assigned to our school.  It is our moral and professional obligation to make this place a school where kids want to be and are challenged daily.  How do we make it a place where they want to be?  It is more than just offering athletics, a nice lunch, and assorted extra-curricular activities.  It is about making connections with kids; forming positive relationships.  Your interest in what a student does may be the only adult who shows that interest.  Your smile and a “Good morning” may be the only one they get that day…or that week…or that month.  That pat on the back, high five, or fist bump may be the only one they ever received.  It is worth the investment.  How do we make it a place where the students are challenged every day?  We work our way up and down the Bloom’s ladder constantly questioning.  We pose more questions and answer less of them.  We do not accept the status quo.  We tell them “good job” and then work to make it a “great” job.  We provide an example of doing what is right and avoiding what it wrong.  We refuse to accept anything less than being courteous.  We make them be gentlemen and show them how to demonstrate that.  We teach them how to be young ladies and we demonstrate that.  We stand in the gap.  When all is said and done, we want kids to say, “I am glad that I was born into that school because they made a difference in my life.”  You have that power – do not miss the opportunity.

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On a side note, I will be flying out on Tuesday night to Norfolk, Virginia and driving to Corolla (Outer Banks), North Carolina.  Our son is getting married to a beautiful young lady who stole his heart.   I will be returning to school on Monday, May 20th having gained another daughter. I hope that she feels like she is marrying “into the right family.”  Thus, this message will be one for two weeks.